Sympathy for Kyo
by briellesabop
Summary: Kyo wrestles with his feelings and thoughts....Is it that wrong to feel the way he does? Or is it perhaps...a good thing? Songfic. kyos POV. kyoru


_Hey again! I know I should be working on my other story but I heard this song the other day and I instantly fell in love with it. This is my first songfic so please review!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket or the song. Furuba is Takaya-sensei's and Sympathy belongs to the Goo Goo Dolls. _

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_Stranger than your sympathy_

_And this is my apology_

Tohru…. She is just amazing. That's the only word I can bring up. And yet… this doesn't feel right. I can't feel this way. I shouldn't feel this way. I feel awful and sorry about it. I feel awful and sorry to _her_. I thought it wasn't right…but now I'm so confused. I thought her feeling the same way was a selfish thought… a selfish wish… and yet…

_I killed myself from the inside out  
And all my fears have pushed you out  
_

I even called her "delusional"… What's wrong with me? How could I be so stupid? All I'm doing is putting myself in a deeper hole. A dank, damp, dark hole… I'm so stupid! I'm conceited as hell! _What is wrong with me?_

_And I wished for things that I don't need_  
_(all I wanted)_

Yet… half of me, that conceited and selfish part of me, _wanted_ her to feel the same way…

_And what I chased won't set me free  
(all I wanted)_

Though, I know it's not helping me at all. Yet again, that hole… but I still tried to make the best of it.

_And I get scared but I'm not crawlin' on my knees  
_

I am scared. Scared that she'll eventually hate me. Scared that I'll never see her sweet face again. Scared that I'll never hear her laugh or gently cry… I want to be with her so bad…

_Oh, yeah  
Everything's all wrong, yeah  
_

This is so messed up! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? I say such mean things to her sometimes too! I push her away when I just want her to be closer…

_Everything's all wrong, yeah  
Where the hell did I think I was?_

I've been crazy. Selfish. _I'm_ the delusional one. How could I ever wish for her to wind up where I was? And yet…she still ran after me…on that rainy dreadful day… calling my name over and over until she found me… grabbing my arm… wanting me to come back…

_And stranger than your sympathy  
Take these things, so I don't feel_

Please forgive me. Please forgive me for being so stupid…so rude and mean… and yet again selfish. There are some things I wish I could just redo…but I know I can't…

_I'm killing myself from the inside out  
And now my head's been filled with doubt  
_

Thinking these stupid thoughts of not being needed. Or loved. I have always thought that my purpose was to burden others. To make them miserable… I even did that to you a few times but you still stuck with me… you still were kind to me… you still loved me…

_We're taught to lead the life you choose  
(all I wanted)_

We are taught that… we being everyone else but me. But I don't want that. I want my own life…and I want to live it. Whatever there is left of it I want to spend it with her…. Didn't _I_ tell her once it was ok to be selfish?

_You know your love's run out on you  
(all I wanted)_

Where are you now, Tohru? What happened after you confessed to me? Where did you go? I'm sorry…I'm sorry for what I said…

_And you can't see when all your dreams aren't coming true  
_

Should I go find you?

_Oh, yeah  
It's easy to forget, yeah_

It's so easy to forget… but I don't want to forget the time I've shared with you. I want to spend more time with you. I want to love you. Please stay with me!

_When you choke on the regrets, yeah  
Who the hell did I think I was?  
_

What was wrong with me? How could I say that to you? I know it hurt you…It actually hurt me too. Please just hold on…

_And all these thoughts you stole from me  
And I'm not sure where I belong  
And no where's home and no more wrong  
_

I'm started to frighten myself again with such thoughts. I want to and yet a part of me still doesn't feel right. This curse…it always held _me_ down most of all. It always made _me_ hated most of all. _I_ never wanted that…

_And I was in love with things I tried to make you believe I was  
_

I wanted to make you see a better me but all that came out was the real me… but is that bad?

_And I wouldn't be the one to kneel before the dreams I wanted_

I don't have many dreams… I never did. I always thought my fate was in the hands of _him_ but I want to change that now. Shouldn't my fate be mine?

_  
And all the dark and all the lies were all the empty things disguised as me_

I want to wash away those things with all my heart. I know they'll still be with me but if I could share them with you, which I sort of have, I know I might have a chance. I know that I could do better… but can you please stay with me anyway?

You've helped me so much. I must help you now. I must find you and tell you how much I'm sorry. How much I'm grateful… how much I love you…

_Mmm, yeah  
Stranger than your sympathy  
Stranger than your sympathy  
Mmm hmmm mmm _

_  
_And so Kyo Sohma went out in search of Tohru Honda. For those who know of the tragic cliff scene, then you know what happens next. And just to put this out there: Kyoru for life!!!!!!!!!! XD

_Love is an amazing, weird, crazy, wonderful thing, isn't it? Personally, I love it. You've just gotta love love._

_I hope you've all enjoyed this. Please feel free to review!_

_briellesabop_

_p.s.- i hope iino-kun especially enjoyed this. you said you liked kyo so i hope this went well. dedicated to you._


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